With deepest apologies to Roger Angell
There is, alas, no time to lose:
We face again the Christmas muse,
A magic babe in diaphanous gown
Who once a year strolls through this town
Compelling myriad lines of verse
(An annual creative curse)
To wish magicians, near and far
The blessings neath that Christmas star.
We've much to do so let us start
With a note of cheer to Christopher Hart,
Siegfried and Roy (those artful dodgers),
And Escondido's Michael Rogers.
Deliver cards by U.S. mail
To Kevin James and Cheri Soleil,
The magic Wilsons, Mark and Nani,
Senor Wences, Pedro and Johnny.
America Online greetings sing
To Jennifer Sils and MactheKing,
Michael Powers, Bruce Barnett,
Carney and Krenz and Gary Ouellet.
By radio we'll air our love
To T.C. Tahoe, Goldfinger and Dove,
Silly Billy, Peter Reveen,
The Magic Castle's Milt and Arlene.
Extol the yule by telephone
To Scotty York and Bill Malone,
Michael Douglas, Douglas Henning,
And (just for rhyme's sake) Annette Benning.
Send a special Christmas wire
To Joaquin Ayala, prince of fire,
Carl Andrews, Jr., Curtis Kam,
Tomsoni and Co. (John and Pam).
Beam wishes o'er DirecTV
To Paul Daniels, esq., and Debbie McGee,
Mahka Tendo, Jay Scott Berry,
Leslie Anderson and Harry.
Telepathic greetings fax
To Goldstein (Phil) or Maven (Max),
Kreskin (Amazing) and Magus (Jim),
Waters (Tom) and Conover (Tim).
(Let Christmas messages reveal
Themselves on slates to Robert Neale,
Scott Moore-Davis, Jeff McBride,
And Eugene Burger, spirit guide.)
Deploy these lines by book rate, natch,
To Charlie Randall and Richard Hatch.
(We wish them orders off List 15
From Eddie Fields and Scott Cervine.)
FedEx good will to Harry Riser,
Alan Wakeling and Earl Keyser,
Ron Wilson, ye uncanny Scot,
And all plagiarizers -- not!
By UPS truck Christmas cards
To Jerry Andrus, with our regards,
Also to Drs. Wells and Sawa,
Alex Elmsley and Allen Okawa.
By internet we'll span the earth
To contact Brit Guy Hollingworth
(Forget this f****** caroling --
How did you tear/restore that king?)
We wish all magi, Abb to Zak,
Loads of stuff from Santa's sack
Like gifts from Brad Burt's Magic Shop
Or Amy Stevens and her pop.
Harness Prancer, harness Dasher,
God speed gifts to young Lee Asher.
(Upon her roof leave reindeer tracks
For CBS's Melinda Saxe.)
Dear Santa, bring us, if you can,
Longer months for Erika and Stan,
New moves for Tony Giorgio
And Ricky Jay on HBO.
Bring baby bags of fancy stuff
To Rhett Bryson, Jr. (Algonquin McDuff)
And antique books to Pasadena
For the Caveneys, Mike and Tina.
Leave Godiva Christmas candy
For Bodine Balasco, Uri and Randi,
Geno Munari, Wittus Witt,
Lynette Chappel and Peter Pit.
Distribute decks throughout the house
For Jim Steranko and Roger Klause,
Roberto Giobbi, Sly the Jester,
And Cards by Martin's Neil Lester.
Fill all stockings, crannies, nooks
With Rudy Coby comic books
And, while you're at it, deck the halls
With Tommy Wonder floating balls.
Shower us all with Letterman hams
And brand new Robert Farmer scams,
Newfound tricks by Kuda Bux
And Ellis Stanyon, twice redux.
And from that flying sleigh (St. Nick's)
Bring us more Chris Kenner tricks,
Steinmeyer illusions for our stage,
More Racherbaumer on the page,
More visits from Tamariz (Juan)
And mysteries from Brother John.
Don Alan books are always nice,
We treasure Gary Kurtz advice,
And for our stockings, count our votes
For Allan Ackerman lecture notes,
A Gamolo levitation -- free!
A major book by Persi D.
And, black marketed from Europe, pray,
Some props from D. Duvivier.
Linger neath the mistletoe
With Yuka or Fantasio,
Penn or Teller, Jade or Daryl,
The Electrics, Marv or Carol.
Lisa Menna! Save a kiss
For Genii's Jamy Ian Swiss,
Luis de Matos, Stephen Spill,
Martin Lewis and Chappy Brazil.
What better spot to stand and neck
With Connie Boyd or Joycee Beck,
Princess Tenko, Joanie Spina,
Luna Shimada or Mystina.
Beneath this seasonal parasite
We've reason to embrace all night.
Et moi? I'll stand right here, oh yes!
For the chance to smooch with Claudia S.
On New Year's Eve we'll Auld Lang Syne
With the Amazing Ballantine,
Louis Falanga, J. Neal Brown,
Rich Marotta and Hoho the Clown.
But first we'll don our gay apparel
To hit the town with Jose Carroll
And gaze upon the star-filled heavens
Arms linked with Sophie Ashton-Evans.
Harry Connick! Strike up the band
For Irene Larsen and R. Lavand.
We'll tango till the morning light
With Jinger Kalin and Nicholas Night.
Let's share a magnum of champagne
With Peter Biro and Harry Lorayne,
Martin Gardner and Gordon Bean,
Jasper Marshall and Marshall Brodien.
Michael Close will man the keys
And play some Gershwin melodies
As Billy McComb, our Irish host
Will raise a glass to make this toast:
"Grant us all Lance Burton's looks
And Richard Kaufman's knack with books,
Doc Eason's skill behind the bar,
The visual awe of Jon and Char,
The card mechanic expertise
Of Larry Jennings and Darwin Ortiz,
The repertoire of Michael Skinner
Or Michael Ammar, Castle winner,
Ken Fletcher's loot from upscale malls,
Earl Nelson's ease with billiard balls,
Michael Finney's gift for laughs
And Anne White's touch with photographs,
David Roth's aplomb with cash,
The gambling moves of Forte or Nash,
And, in this season of Nativity,
A little Paul Harris creativity,
Harry Blackstone's resonant bass,
Tom Mullica's comedic pace,
Houdini's ken of picks and locks,
The memories of Karrell Fox,
Stephen Minch's class with pen,
The showmanship of 'Becky' Yen,
The way with chicks of Johnny Ace,
A bit of Channing Pollock's grace.
At last I sip this golden drink:
Good health to all! Be in the pink!
And this year let us be well-heeled
As Broadway's David Copperfield."
Before we put away this quill
We must apologize, and will
To those we failed to here include:
We weren't intentionally rude.
We love all magi, here or no
For making life a Magic Show.
But rhymes run out, the light expires,
We put away our lutes and lyres.
So good-night, Charlie, good-night, Dai,
We'll get together, by and by.
Good-night, Melinda, and Claudia too,
Some dream of sugarplums; we dream of you.
Good-night magicians, the whole world o'er,
We'll see you all on WGM 4!
©Copyright 1996 by Steve Bryant
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