Season's Greetings! If you are visiting this site to find The Little Egypt Gazette, rest assured that all issues of Volume 2 are still online. Just click on the title. Our Favorite Links are also still available and are updated for December 1997. This site will become our continuing web presence. In addition to offering past issues of The Little Egypt Gazette, the site will offer whatever odds and ends occur to us, including the occasional news blurb. For those of you who own a five-star resort on Maui (or similar establishment), future installments will also detail how you can engage us to perform for your guests. With that, and mindful that Christmas and the New Year are fast approaching, we wish you a hearty "Ho Ho Ho," accompanied by our annual, and I hope final, Christmas poem.

GREETINGS, FRIENDS!

With deepest apologies to Roger Angell

reetings, friends! Again it's time
To weave magicians into rhyme,
A quilt of names for spreading gladness
(Our yearly literary madness).
The inkwell's full, the paper's white,
We're likely to compose all night.
A comely muse inspires our lays,
And so to work; our pen we raise:

Deploy fond wishes, sans delay,
To Boogie Nights star Ricky Jay,
Channing Pollock, Jon Brunelle,
Darwin Ortiz and Nani Darnell,
Lewis and Lewis (Martin/Shari)
Michael Maxwell and Jay Scott Berry,
Bellamie Blackstone, Lynette Chappel,
Mahka Tendo and Ken Krenzel.
Hang a stocking, light a candle
For Richard Hatch and Charlie Randall,
Cesareo Palaez, Siegfried and Roy,
Rudy Coby and Puppet Boy,
Lefty (Chicago's singing glove),
Chappy Brazil, Goldfinger and Dove,
Luna Shemada and her pop,
Mrs. Caveney and her mop.
Open the shutters, throw up the sash,
Exclaim good will to Martin Nash,
Char Pendragon (What a Betty!),
Omar Pasha, Hans Moretti,
Johnny Carson, Gordon Bean,
Sam Dalal and Lennart Green.
Let children sing, let sleigh bells jingle
For David Roth and Derek Dingle,
Ivan ("Grand Prix") Necheporenko,
Jerry Andrus and Princess Tenko,
Howie Schwarzman, Harry the Hat,
Both the Lovells -- Simon and Kat,
Bill Taylor and our pal, Cellini,
L.A.'s Aldo Colombini.
A big Canadian Christmas hug
For both the Hennings, Deb and Doug,
Rick Thomas and Frank Zak (in Vegas),
Atlanta's Jim and Melania Magus.
Bonnie Saxe! Joyeux Noel!
Hope the show is going well.
Kalin and Hobson! Ho! Ho! Ho!
May all your nights be S.R.O.
Let television kudos rain
On Gary Ouellet and David Blaine,
J. Alexander (Remember WENN),
Luis de Matos, Teller and Penn.
Play Christmas songs on CD-ROM
For Jan Orleans (mind reading mom),
Bill Malone and Kevin King,
Scotty York, Chris Hart and Thing,
Loren Michaels, Micah Lasher,
Young Lee (aces-twisting) Asher,
Gary Kurtz, Carl Cloutier,
Et Dominique Duvivier.
Bake some cookies, spread some joy
To L.A.'s Marvyn and Carol Roy,
Allan Ackerman, Mike Goudeau,
Tunica's Brett Daniels show,
Michael Finney, prince of mirth,
Closeup star Guy Hollingworth,
Carl Andrews, Jr., Bozo the Clown,
And Flosso "Boswell" Gary Brown.

Behold the lofty fairy light
That streaks across the winter night
Distinguished by its crimson glow
(A harbinger of Christmas snow?).
Tis but the flash of Santa's sleigh
As Rudolph's nose D'Lites his way
Above our towns and TV dishes
To satisfy our Christmas wishes:
Bring us Racherbaumer prose
And more Max Maven videos,
Eugene Burger's sage advice,
Michael Rogers' stacking dice,
More paper folds from Robert Neale,
John Kennedy's electric reel,
Free scholarships for lads and lasses
To Jeff McBride's New Age-ish classes,
Peter Duffie tricks galore,
Mel Stover puzzles by the score,
All Kenner items we can get,
Hank Lee stuff off the internet,
Danny Orleans product news,
A Castle-sponsored magic cruise,
More Mac King teach-ins on TV,
And from H. Press, Giobbi 3.
Restock in Vegas with a stop
At Geno's new Houdini shop.
(Not enough? There's always more
At Brad Burt's San Diego store.)
Continue with John Carney tricks,
Some Sheets or Spill comedic licks,
T.A. Waters monographs,
Professional Bob Kohler gaffs,
Marshall Brodien magic kits,
Books by Jerry Sadowitz,
Marotta classics from his act,
The overdue Don Alan tract,
Paul Gertner notes re "Classic Force,"
A leather bound Mark Wilson course,
Some Blaney levitation hoops,
And from Stan Allen: MAGIC scoops.
Our greed abounds, let nought be missed
From the entire Joe Stevens list,
Free rooms in March (the Tropicana),
Woodfield's collected Magicana,
More Caveney biographies,
Paul Harris ingenuities,
Illusions (Owen M. Supreme),
Thimble tricks from Steven Beam,
Robert Gallup's sexy looks,
All of L. Falanga's books,
More T.C. Tahoe Genii tips,
Lorayne's hardbound Apocalypse,
For guys: a candid Polaroid
Of Melinda Saxe or Connie Boyd,
For gals: a one-per-million chance
To spend a Christmas Eve with Lance.

Attend a Yuletide Castle dinner
With Milt, Arlene, and Michael Skinner,
Irene Larsen, H. Houdini(!),
Ron Wilson and The Great Flydini.
Share caviar, pate, and lox
With Master Fellow Karrell Fox.
Add jumbo oysters in their shells
For Drs. Eason, Dixon, Wells,
Mussels (steamed) and clams casino
For France's Jean P. Vallarino.
(The festive guacamole dip
Should cool Tom Mullica's ash-burned lip.)
Imbibe some brandy, ale, or wine
With Tamariz and Ballantine,
Then share some Chardonnay, Milt's best,
With Eddie Fields and Fielding West.
Consume roast goose and leg of lamb
With Bodine Bolasco and Curtis Kam,
Poached salmon with lime and ginger sauce
For Jon Pendragon and Richard Ross,
Yorkshire pudding, honey ham
For the Thompsons, John and Pam,
Prime roast rib of beef, med. rare
For Kevin James and James Dimmare.
Our dinner music is a carol
(A request of Peter Pit and Daryl)
As Irma presses ghostly keys
And Michael Close accompanies.

Let's pause beneath the mistletoe
With Jade and Tony Giorgio,
Joycee Beck or Ed Alonzo,
Frances Willard or Alfonso.
Kiss an Ammar -- Mike or Hannah,
Cheri Soleil or Sonny Fontana,
David Williamson (or spouse),
Terri Rogers or Roger Klause.
Pucker up, you kissing fool,
With Sherry Lukas or Steven Youell,
Richard Kaufman or Galina,
Jillian Gotlib or Mystina.
How nice to share a warm embrace
With Erika Larsen or Johnny Ace,
Lisa Menna, Rebekah Yen,
Or FISM's Juliana Chen.
Beware, en smooch, a friendly pinch
From Amy Stevens or Stephen Minch,
Jasper Marshall or Jinger Leigh,
Claudia Schiffer or David C.
While ladies neath this shrub may yearn
For a heartfelt kiss from Jason Byrne,
Give me that leggy osculator --
The luscious Nikki Terminator!

On New Year's Eve we'll paint the town
With Robert Farmer and J. Neal Brown,
Peter Biro, Martin Joyal,
And Sophie Ashton-Evans (Wow!).
How nice to ring in 98
With Eric Mead and Kardor the Great,
Jim Steranko, Ton Onasaka,
And Becky Blaney (Wocka wocka!).
Champagne, of course! We'll quaff a glass
With New York's Jonathan David Bass,
That shoeshine duo (Junge/Junge),
And Joanie Spina (Cowabunga!).
We'll Riverdance till half past three
With Billy McComb and Debbie McGee,
Kreskin -- that Amazing guy,
And Lilia Ayala (Sigh!).
At midnight let the party slow
That we may share a poignant mo
Of silence neath that ballroom moon
For Jennings and Blackstone, gone too soon.
The "Open Travelers" are Heaven's rage,
A light bulb floats o're an empty stage;
Hats off to B.J., love to Gay,
Our hearts are with you every day.
So party on, the New Year looms;
May all land gigs in classy rooms:
Friends and colleagues, buds and mates,
We wish you Magic Castle dates;
Manipulators, jugglers, wits,
May you find fame and Broadway hits;
Closeup guys and Psych. Fair witches
Enjoy your newfound trade show riches;
Fellas, ladies, kids and geezers,
We'll see you underground, at Caesars;
And last, of course, our wish, no jive,
Is to see you all on WGM 5!

o close we plead to thine and thee
Our annual apology:
If your name we somehow missed
We hope you aren't extremely ... angry.
But lamplight fades, the pen descends,
It's growing late to make amends.
Mageia: sweet, adoring mage
Who guides our hand across this page,
Rises, skyclad, shakes her tresses
(Muses have no use for dresses!),
And sighs, ere vanishing from sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, to all a good night."

Not enough, you say? You want more mushy Christmas doggerel? Our previous efforts are still online at Season's Greetings 1995 and Season's Greetings 1996. The sentiments are as fresh and sincere as ever.

Little Egypt Magic is the erratically updated web site of Steve Bryant, spawned (the site, not Steve) by a former internet magazine known as The Little Egypt Gazette/for magicians only. If you are not a magician, you will not understand the contents of this site. If you are a magician, you will probably have even greater difficulty.

Steve Bryant is an obscure magician and writer who generates this site from a computer in Bloomington, Indiana. He frequently journeys to and performs magic in Little Egypt, the local name for extreme southern Illinois, where the towns bear such names as Cairo, Thebes, and Karnak.

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Copyright© 1997 by Steve Bryant